People with herpes should wear stickers.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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