i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Randomize
