so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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