is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
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