Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
