Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
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