Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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