small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
