Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Randomize
