Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
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