I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
My bed is full of blood and feathers
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Randomize
