Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Randomize
