I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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