I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
