If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Im part way to drunk.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
