whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Sorry about my life...
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
