She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
