I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Randomize
