Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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