You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
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