he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
