it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Randomize
