lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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