I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
