dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Blood and glitter go together right?
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Randomize
