be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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