R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
