he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
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