I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
i've created a new STD.
So much rum. So many feels.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
