That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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