The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Randomize
