i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize
