how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
