I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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