I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
