im about as happy as oj after his trial
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Randomize
