i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
