Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Randomize
