I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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