After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
