Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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