Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Randomize
