If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
i think we sleep fucked last night...
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
