I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
