Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
we made out on top of his cat.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
