Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Randomize
