this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
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