No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Randomize
