and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
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