hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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