just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
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